Semester is thankfully finally over.
But...
The next three months are going to be worse. Dear self, expect Hell.
But you know what?
I'm actually really excited!!! When you've got 10 things going on, if one of them fails, hey you've still got 9 more that can still succeed. :) And a lot of the stuff I'm doing this year isn't for myself alone, especially Sadies! I'm really hoping my masquerade idea gets passed (for security reasons).
As for TRTP, I jotted down rough page counts for the remaining scenes and ended up with 200 more pages. I'm at 240 pages right now. My reaction looked something like this: :O "Oh dear."
That puts the story at 108,000 words, which is 10,000 words over what I'd been hoping for. I guess it's too early to freak out about word count though.
Finishing is more important.
I've been cruising along at average 15 pages a week. If I quadruple that to 60 during the February break, then finish time can be sped up to March 28, which is STILL very late. But it's better than nothing. Maybe if I'm really lucky, I'll finish on my birthday--3/16.
We'll see. :)
SlideShow
Showing posts with label bits of life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bits of life. Show all posts
Monday, January 17, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Back from London
Today at the gym everybody was wearing green. I'm not sure why. They just were. I happened to be one of those people wearing green. I talked to some other people wearing green, and apparently it was just a random coincidence. Funny but cool.
So...London.
I cheered/danced in the Parade--which was a once in a lifetime experience. You can probably find this on YouTube under "London Parade All-American Cheerleaders 2011" or any combination of those words. I'm pretty sure it'll be all over Facebook very soon as well.
Favorite touring moment:
I'd have to say Windsor Castle. There's a guard that keeps watch with a bayonet and a VERY TALL furry black hat and marches along this line every 5 minutes or so. Some of the girls on my bus were part of a scavenger hunt that included taking a picture of the guard pretending to kiss his cheek. I didn't know whether I should feel sorry for the guard or extremely happy for all the girl attention he was getting. Literally, he was being swarmed by girls who wanted to take pictures with him. It reminded me a little bit of an animal at the zoo, everybody crowding and pointing while he's not allowed to talk or smile. He was fairly young, maybe one or two years older than me, and he was pretty cute! I personally felt bad for him so I held back, although once I met his eye and he just very slightly smiled, probably as a "thank you for not getting in my face like everyone else." But then I tried to take a picture with him and two friends and time came for him to march along the line again. He stomped and cocked the bayonet, just before the cameras clicked. I think I leapt three feet into the air.
Favorite food moment:
I have to say I have three. Everything in America is too sweet. In London, it's just right, although it's pretty bland. The desserts rocked though. I primarily hung out at a pub called Wetherspoons. Their sticky toffee pudding with hot custard is to die for. So is their warm fudge chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream (apparently they served over 8 million of those since 2000) and the jam roly poly with hot custard. Walking into there, I had no idea what a jam roly poly was. It's like a Cinnabon except instead of cinnamon, there's jam instead. Compact that with the hot custard and it's heaven. I miss it already...
Favorite accent moment:
The subway--"Mind the gap." Here we say "Watch your step" or "Please don't fall in the space between the train and the platform." In London, they mind everything. In the elevator, "Mind the door." On the top of St. Paul's Cathedral "Mind your head." For some reason, "Mind the gap" just seemed so funny (but you have to have been there to get it) that I bought a souvenir keychain that said "Mind the gap." :) Also, a subway in London is actually just an underground passage, while the subway is called the underground. Biscuits are cookies and cookies are biscuits. Fries are chips and chips are crisps. I was in line in GAP (yes they have GAP!) to buy a white polo that was missing from my uniform, and a guy asked me, "Are you in the qeue?" in his awesome British accent. Luckily I remembered hearing about this somewhere before. (I think in a Harry Potter movie?)He meant "are you in the checkout line." Even better--instead of "For Rent," buildings for rent in London are labeled "to let." Now, I'd heard that in England, the bathroom was referred to as the toilet. When I saw the sign that said "to let," I thought it was toilet mispelled. (Maybe someone scratched off the "i"?) So I went to look for the restroom, and it was not a restroom at all. :)
Favorite architectural moment:
All the buildings look like they could belong in Peter Pan. The houseboats in Chelsea rocked. Apparently at low tide, which happens twice a day, the boats tip sideways and are stuck like that for up to 4 hours. In that space, if you set a cup of tea on the table, it would slide right off. Fun, right?
Favorite laws in London:
Mince pies were outlawed by Oliver Cromwell in the late 1700s. Apparently nobody bothered to lift that rule, so mince pies are still illegal in England. But people still eat them. I always learned in school that England had no death penalty, but they do: for traitors and for pirates. Apparently nobody really follows that either, just nobody bothered to nullify that law.
Yup, that's London in a nutshell. :)
Tomorrow I'll talk about the awesome movies/books I encountered while staying up all night before my flight. (That rhymed!) I hate plane rides and will do anything to sleep the whole time without waking up. Even if it means pulling an allnighter the evening before.
So...London.
I cheered/danced in the Parade--which was a once in a lifetime experience. You can probably find this on YouTube under "London Parade All-American Cheerleaders 2011" or any combination of those words. I'm pretty sure it'll be all over Facebook very soon as well.
Favorite touring moment:
I'd have to say Windsor Castle. There's a guard that keeps watch with a bayonet and a VERY TALL furry black hat and marches along this line every 5 minutes or so. Some of the girls on my bus were part of a scavenger hunt that included taking a picture of the guard pretending to kiss his cheek. I didn't know whether I should feel sorry for the guard or extremely happy for all the girl attention he was getting. Literally, he was being swarmed by girls who wanted to take pictures with him. It reminded me a little bit of an animal at the zoo, everybody crowding and pointing while he's not allowed to talk or smile. He was fairly young, maybe one or two years older than me, and he was pretty cute! I personally felt bad for him so I held back, although once I met his eye and he just very slightly smiled, probably as a "thank you for not getting in my face like everyone else." But then I tried to take a picture with him and two friends and time came for him to march along the line again. He stomped and cocked the bayonet, just before the cameras clicked. I think I leapt three feet into the air.
Favorite food moment:
I have to say I have three. Everything in America is too sweet. In London, it's just right, although it's pretty bland. The desserts rocked though. I primarily hung out at a pub called Wetherspoons. Their sticky toffee pudding with hot custard is to die for. So is their warm fudge chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream (apparently they served over 8 million of those since 2000) and the jam roly poly with hot custard. Walking into there, I had no idea what a jam roly poly was. It's like a Cinnabon except instead of cinnamon, there's jam instead. Compact that with the hot custard and it's heaven. I miss it already...
Favorite accent moment:
The subway--"Mind the gap." Here we say "Watch your step" or "Please don't fall in the space between the train and the platform." In London, they mind everything. In the elevator, "Mind the door." On the top of St. Paul's Cathedral "Mind your head." For some reason, "Mind the gap" just seemed so funny (but you have to have been there to get it) that I bought a souvenir keychain that said "Mind the gap." :) Also, a subway in London is actually just an underground passage, while the subway is called the underground. Biscuits are cookies and cookies are biscuits. Fries are chips and chips are crisps. I was in line in GAP (yes they have GAP!) to buy a white polo that was missing from my uniform, and a guy asked me, "Are you in the qeue?" in his awesome British accent. Luckily I remembered hearing about this somewhere before. (I think in a Harry Potter movie?)He meant "are you in the checkout line." Even better--instead of "For Rent," buildings for rent in London are labeled "to let." Now, I'd heard that in England, the bathroom was referred to as the toilet. When I saw the sign that said "to let," I thought it was toilet mispelled. (Maybe someone scratched off the "i"?) So I went to look for the restroom, and it was not a restroom at all. :)
Favorite architectural moment:
All the buildings look like they could belong in Peter Pan. The houseboats in Chelsea rocked. Apparently at low tide, which happens twice a day, the boats tip sideways and are stuck like that for up to 4 hours. In that space, if you set a cup of tea on the table, it would slide right off. Fun, right?
Favorite laws in London:
Mince pies were outlawed by Oliver Cromwell in the late 1700s. Apparently nobody bothered to lift that rule, so mince pies are still illegal in England. But people still eat them. I always learned in school that England had no death penalty, but they do: for traitors and for pirates. Apparently nobody really follows that either, just nobody bothered to nullify that law.
Yup, that's London in a nutshell. :)
Tomorrow I'll talk about the awesome movies/books I encountered while staying up all night before my flight. (That rhymed!) I hate plane rides and will do anything to sleep the whole time without waking up. Even if it means pulling an allnighter the evening before.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Ballerinas, Nutella, and Belly Flops
My school is one of those places where if you walk through the cafeteria carrying, say, a grilled reuben sandwich, some girl will stop you and say, "Animals are gross! They make you fat!"
It makes me sad--not because this actually happened to me a few weeks back (It did.) but because a lot of the younger generation these days believe that your figure needs to resemble beef jerky before you can have respect.
Take my girl friends at school. I love them. They're awesome friends. But I've been eating lunch with the guys instead for 3 months now.
I mean, I can take it if someone says "That nutella sandwich will make you fat" once. But if they do it every day for a year and going? Eventually, you crack--kind of like a nutcracker, which serves as my segue into the article I want to share.
You can find it here. This brave, beautiful NYC ballerina would not let critics get to her. Jenifer Ringer is my hero of the day. She is gorgeous, stunning, she knows it, and she won't let a critic tell her otherwise. Heck, she doesn't even need his apology. She's that good.
It's like how the other day at my school, we were having a belly flop contest. One of the contestants from the sophomore class was overweight. When he stepped onto the diving board in shorts, my friends targeted him instantly. "He has no self control. He's a total loser. He's so fat. Do his parents do anything about it?"
I listened for about five minutes, after which I turned to my friends and told them, "At least he's proud of it."
And that shut everybody up.
They gave me a disbelieving, WHAT-ARE-YOU-ON look. I shrugged and added, "I think he's kind of cool. He's not ashamed of the way he looks. He's proud. I wish more people thought like that."
There was more awkward silence, before one of my friends finally piped up, "Yeah, you're kind of right."
I smiled and gave her a high five.
But she's 1 out of 9.
What sucks is that although I'm now recovered, I started the eating disorder trend among my friends 3 years ago, and within my school, it has now spread to affect 3 grades, countless girls, and too many bright, shining lives.
Right now, I want to fix it, one little bit at a time through subtle gestures like making my Facebook status, "I love you all just the way you are" or "Friends are like snowflakes, beautiful but different" (The Window of Starbucks, Thanksgiving day)<--Look! Proper MLA citation!!! (I'm still jaded from finals). Anyways, I read somewhere out there that 50% of women want to lose weight, and I guess what I'm really trying to say is: You are beautiful. You are strong. You are wise. You don't need to change.
This New Years, resolve to love yourself! Love who you are and everything that makes you who you are! Love nutella and banana sandwiches, which are an alternate heaven!
Totie Fields once said, "I've been on a diet for two weeks, and all I've lost is two weeks."
Once upon a time, I was on a crash diet for 2 years, and honestly, all I can say is that I've lost 2 years. And more, if you count all the dinners with Mom that I vetoed in favor of eating one bowl of cheerios, a banana, and some strawberries. I've never regretted anything more in my life. Those two years were the prime of my high school, that I should've spent having fun with friends and doing crazy stuff, not penned up in my room dreaming nightmares that involved eating chocolate cake.
If I could save anyone in the world, it would be all the girls out there who stand victim to body image criticism.
Everyone out there, please stay strong!!!
It makes me sad--not because this actually happened to me a few weeks back (It did.) but because a lot of the younger generation these days believe that your figure needs to resemble beef jerky before you can have respect.
Take my girl friends at school. I love them. They're awesome friends. But I've been eating lunch with the guys instead for 3 months now.
I mean, I can take it if someone says "That nutella sandwich will make you fat" once. But if they do it every day for a year and going? Eventually, you crack--kind of like a nutcracker, which serves as my segue into the article I want to share.
You can find it here. This brave, beautiful NYC ballerina would not let critics get to her. Jenifer Ringer is my hero of the day. She is gorgeous, stunning, she knows it, and she won't let a critic tell her otherwise. Heck, she doesn't even need his apology. She's that good.
It's like how the other day at my school, we were having a belly flop contest. One of the contestants from the sophomore class was overweight. When he stepped onto the diving board in shorts, my friends targeted him instantly. "He has no self control. He's a total loser. He's so fat. Do his parents do anything about it?"
I listened for about five minutes, after which I turned to my friends and told them, "At least he's proud of it."
And that shut everybody up.
They gave me a disbelieving, WHAT-ARE-YOU-ON look. I shrugged and added, "I think he's kind of cool. He's not ashamed of the way he looks. He's proud. I wish more people thought like that."
There was more awkward silence, before one of my friends finally piped up, "Yeah, you're kind of right."
I smiled and gave her a high five.
But she's 1 out of 9.
What sucks is that although I'm now recovered, I started the eating disorder trend among my friends 3 years ago, and within my school, it has now spread to affect 3 grades, countless girls, and too many bright, shining lives.
Right now, I want to fix it, one little bit at a time through subtle gestures like making my Facebook status, "I love you all just the way you are" or "Friends are like snowflakes, beautiful but different" (The Window of Starbucks, Thanksgiving day)<--Look! Proper MLA citation!!! (I'm still jaded from finals). Anyways, I read somewhere out there that 50% of women want to lose weight, and I guess what I'm really trying to say is: You are beautiful. You are strong. You are wise. You don't need to change.
This New Years, resolve to love yourself! Love who you are and everything that makes you who you are! Love nutella and banana sandwiches, which are an alternate heaven!
Totie Fields once said, "I've been on a diet for two weeks, and all I've lost is two weeks."
Once upon a time, I was on a crash diet for 2 years, and honestly, all I can say is that I've lost 2 years. And more, if you count all the dinners with Mom that I vetoed in favor of eating one bowl of cheerios, a banana, and some strawberries. I've never regretted anything more in my life. Those two years were the prime of my high school, that I should've spent having fun with friends and doing crazy stuff, not penned up in my room dreaming nightmares that involved eating chocolate cake.
If I could save anyone in the world, it would be all the girls out there who stand victim to body image criticism.
Everyone out there, please stay strong!!!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Best Detentions Ever
Location: Desk (That's in the Awesome Possum Bedroom)
Music: "Only Girl in the World" by Rihanna
Mood: Bouncy *smiley fox*
I thought I'd share this website. Best (or worst, arguably) detentions ever. This actually came up because of a paragraph in TRTP where I was describing a ridiculous detention. I ended up settling for wearing a t-shirt that said "Leave me alone."
:)
Which of course, made me think of MY best detention. I think it was one day when I was late for school because it was raining outside, and I walked to school without an umbrella. Not even nearly as epic as the ones on the Huffington Post.
So... dreams for yesterday night. I dreamed of rocky road ice cream. And then buying strawberry mochi because the ice cream container didn't contain enough for the party I was throwing for JCL.
Again, this is stress related. Originally, the other JCL officers and I divided the food up into two categories: ice cream and stuff you pile ice cream on (e.g. brownies, pizookies, you get the point). I was busy with work, so I asked my grandma (who was visiting) to buy some ice cream for me. She said okay.
She ended up buying cinnamon rolls.
Thus in my nightmare, only one other officer showed up with a tiny carton of ice cream. I went "ACH. How are 20 people gonna eat that???" So, in the nightmare I went to Ranch 99 and bought strawberry mochi.
The dream dictionary says:
"To see or eat ice cream in your dream, denotes good luck, pleasure, success in love and satisfaction with your life. You need to savor the moment and enjoy it. Alternatively, the dream may suggest that you need to cool off and not let your temper get out of hand. On the other hand, the ice cream may be a pun on "I scream". Perhaps there is something that you need to let out."
Cool. Supposing the first part holds true, I'm waiting for this "success in love" and "satisfaction with your life" to show up. :P I guess it did, because I got to work on TRTP today while blasting music on a YIM window with Mich and discussing the meaning of life. Best way to spend my night.
As for the "I scream" interpretation, there are many things I want to scream about. For example, "EVERYONE IS MORE THAN A NUMBER"--on a test, on a scale, whatever. Worth is not determined by numbers.
My new favorite song is "Papa Can You Hear Me?" by N-Dubz. It's my sound track whenever I'm having a bad day, which I did today. And that's totally wierd, because we screamed and played freeze tag and acted like kindergarteners in Biology today. And that's awesome.
Music: "Only Girl in the World" by Rihanna
Mood: Bouncy *smiley fox*
I thought I'd share this website. Best (or worst, arguably) detentions ever. This actually came up because of a paragraph in TRTP where I was describing a ridiculous detention. I ended up settling for wearing a t-shirt that said "Leave me alone."
:)
Which of course, made me think of MY best detention. I think it was one day when I was late for school because it was raining outside, and I walked to school without an umbrella. Not even nearly as epic as the ones on the Huffington Post.
So... dreams for yesterday night. I dreamed of rocky road ice cream. And then buying strawberry mochi because the ice cream container didn't contain enough for the party I was throwing for JCL.
Again, this is stress related. Originally, the other JCL officers and I divided the food up into two categories: ice cream and stuff you pile ice cream on (e.g. brownies, pizookies, you get the point). I was busy with work, so I asked my grandma (who was visiting) to buy some ice cream for me. She said okay.
She ended up buying cinnamon rolls.
Thus in my nightmare, only one other officer showed up with a tiny carton of ice cream. I went "ACH. How are 20 people gonna eat that???" So, in the nightmare I went to Ranch 99 and bought strawberry mochi.
The dream dictionary says:
"To see or eat ice cream in your dream, denotes good luck, pleasure, success in love and satisfaction with your life. You need to savor the moment and enjoy it. Alternatively, the dream may suggest that you need to cool off and not let your temper get out of hand. On the other hand, the ice cream may be a pun on "I scream". Perhaps there is something that you need to let out."
Cool. Supposing the first part holds true, I'm waiting for this "success in love" and "satisfaction with your life" to show up. :P I guess it did, because I got to work on TRTP today while blasting music on a YIM window with Mich and discussing the meaning of life. Best way to spend my night.
As for the "I scream" interpretation, there are many things I want to scream about. For example, "EVERYONE IS MORE THAN A NUMBER"--on a test, on a scale, whatever. Worth is not determined by numbers.
My new favorite song is "Papa Can You Hear Me?" by N-Dubz. It's my sound track whenever I'm having a bad day, which I did today. And that's totally wierd, because we screamed and played freeze tag and acted like kindergarteners in Biology today. And that's awesome.
^ Isn't that the most AWESOME building ever? It actually exists. In New Orleans off the Mississippi River. Urban decay for the win. This photo was taken by Briantmurphy.
Btw, did I mention that once, I accidentally said the Mississippi River was in New York (and meant it on accident)? TO a history teacher? In front of 32 people? And not my history teacher--he was subbing. Very embarassing.
One more funny moment--a few weeks back at the mall, I was eating in the food court. This little kid was sitting next to me with his parents. Every time his parents weren't looking, he would reach over with his fork and steal my food. Like, he would just poke his fork into my southwest chicken pasta salad and eat it. And it happened like 10 times. I had no idea what to do, so I just sat there. Very awkward.
Okay, it's 3:45 a.m. and I need to be at the gym by 7:50 tomorrow morning. Good night!
P.S. I considered making a label called "funny," but I think all my posts contain something funny. (I try, anyways). Just in case you care about the deep thought process behind my labels.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Urban Decay
Location: Desk (That's in the Awesome Possum Bedroom)
Music: "Don't Cry for me Argentina" by Glee Cast
Mood: Chipper *grinning fox*
All right. Ten minute post because it's almost 1 a.m. and I have to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning to study.
I checked out Catching Fire and Mockingjay by Susanne Collins in one shot today. From the library, thus saving $33.98 that I can otherwise spend on even more books! I also happened to shoot a plastic discus halfway across the library and succeed in getting it stuck behind a bookshelf. (Oops) I didn't know it'd fly so far! And so fast! I'll ask the librarian to help me get it out tomorrow when she comes back. (In case you are wondering what I was doing with a plastic discus, it was a Christmas gift from someone.)
The night before yesterday night I had a REALLY NERDY dream involving calculus and biology, so I ignored it and pretended it never happened. My dream mind keeps screaming Finals! Finals! Finals! at me, so today I dreamed of...
An iguana.
And some other stuff, that I saved in a OneNote doc on my new Windows 7 phone. And they are...eyes. And a shirt (rather, taking off a shirt. NOT INAPPROPRIATELY. I was in the locker room at my gym before showering.) I guess I'll censor this post anyways. Moving on--
The dream dictionary has to say:
"To see an iguana in your dream, represents harshness, cold-heartedness or fierceness. You approach situations or problems with both hostility and unstoppable determination. The iguana may also remind you of someone or some situation in your waking life that you find frightening yet awe inspiring."
"To see your own eyes in your dream, represent enlightenment, knowledge, comprehension, understanding, and intellectual awareness. Unconscious thoughts may be coming onto the surface. The left eye is symbolic of the moon, while the right eye represents the sun. It may also be a pun on "I" or the self."
(Too bad I don't remember the context of the eye dream...my note simply said "eye")
"To dream that you are stripping, indicates repression of your personal and physical desires. You are yearning for greater self-expression [...] Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on being "stripped" of something that you valued or cherished."
So, iguana= unstoppable determination/fierceness/coldness. Finals maybe? Or my determination to finish TRTP. Or the fact that I'm trying too hard in my English class.
Eyes= enlightement/knowledge. I really wish I remember the context of that part of the dream... Finals again?
And finally, changing at the gym= yearning for greater self expression. Maybe related to everything that gets in the way of me working on TRTP. Or trying too hard in English class.
Recurring themes: Finals. TRTP. Trying too hard in English class.
What do these stressors have to do with urban decay as the title of this post indicates?
Well, I have this huge thing for urban decay (as in dead cities, not the makeup brand, although I am also a HUGE fan of Urban Decay makeup). Destroyed cities and abandoned places are a pretty obvious theme in TRTP, what with all the alleys and abandoned subway stations and the burning gangfights in the Downside. I was stuck on a scene today--I'd begun to run out of things you'd find in dead cities. I'd used overturned cars, mangled bicycles, burning stuff, etc. Usually when I'm stuck, I google terms or look them up on DeviantArt to get my brain rolling--so, that's what I did.
I found these two AWESOME collections of images. The first is 100 Captivating Examples of Urban Decay Photography. There's also The Beauty of Urban Decay.
Aren't they so pretty? A picture can't take my breath away. But the ruins of a once-beautiful city can. And that's what all these pictures are. If you've read Ch24 of TRTP, you'll find a lot of these images familiar--that is, if I've managed to capture their essence in written language. But, I'm serious. I had chills looking at some of those photographs. They were so pretty!
I also realize that I work really well when I'm listening to ballads (usually sung by the Glee cast). Tomorrow I need to share my playlist for TRTP.
Btw, sometimes it's good to just take it easy.
I'm really. Really. Really. Really burned out. I can't work anymore. Life tends to get this way towards the end of the semester. I keep finding myself sitting around just staring at the same line over and over on a textbook and absorbing nothing. It sucks, and it's also the source of many panic attacks and freaking out. I'm getting better at dealing with it though. I had a Biology exam today and couldn't get any studying in last night.
I didn't let myself freak out.
I went to sleep instead and set my alarm to 6:23 and 6:39 as always. And as of every day every week since after Thanksgiving break, I missed both alarms--something else that tends to happen towards the end of semester. No human can survive on 4 hours of sleep for that long...
Instead, I got up at 7:08. I took out my contacts, made a mozarella+spinach+bacon sandwich with my favorite 12 grain bread, and sat down at my laptop. I studied from 7:08 to 7:40 when I had to leave for my first class (I wasn't late today for the first time since after Thanksgiving when I started oversleeping!)
And then I studied discreetly during my first class when nobody was looking.
And then I studied at lunch for 20 minutes.
I walked into my exam without very high expectations.
I scored a 100%.
:)
Sometimes, you just need to relax. I mean, I've been paying attention in class, doing all the assignments... "Striving for excellence is great! Striving for perfection will only make your life miserable." My history teacher told me that sophomore year.
I'll top it off with a Christmas LOLcat.
Music: "Don't Cry for me Argentina" by Glee Cast
Mood: Chipper *grinning fox*
All right. Ten minute post because it's almost 1 a.m. and I have to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning to study.
I checked out Catching Fire and Mockingjay by Susanne Collins in one shot today. From the library, thus saving $33.98 that I can otherwise spend on even more books! I also happened to shoot a plastic discus halfway across the library and succeed in getting it stuck behind a bookshelf. (Oops) I didn't know it'd fly so far! And so fast! I'll ask the librarian to help me get it out tomorrow when she comes back. (In case you are wondering what I was doing with a plastic discus, it was a Christmas gift from someone.)
The night before yesterday night I had a REALLY NERDY dream involving calculus and biology, so I ignored it and pretended it never happened. My dream mind keeps screaming Finals! Finals! Finals! at me, so today I dreamed of...
An iguana.
And some other stuff, that I saved in a OneNote doc on my new Windows 7 phone. And they are...eyes. And a shirt (rather, taking off a shirt. NOT INAPPROPRIATELY. I was in the locker room at my gym before showering.) I guess I'll censor this post anyways. Moving on--
The dream dictionary has to say:
"To see an iguana in your dream, represents harshness, cold-heartedness or fierceness. You approach situations or problems with both hostility and unstoppable determination. The iguana may also remind you of someone or some situation in your waking life that you find frightening yet awe inspiring."
"To see your own eyes in your dream, represent enlightenment, knowledge, comprehension, understanding, and intellectual awareness. Unconscious thoughts may be coming onto the surface. The left eye is symbolic of the moon, while the right eye represents the sun. It may also be a pun on "I" or the self."
(Too bad I don't remember the context of the eye dream...my note simply said "eye")
"To dream that you are stripping, indicates repression of your personal and physical desires. You are yearning for greater self-expression [...] Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on being "stripped" of something that you valued or cherished."
So, iguana= unstoppable determination/fierceness/coldness. Finals maybe? Or my determination to finish TRTP. Or the fact that I'm trying too hard in my English class.
Eyes= enlightement/knowledge. I really wish I remember the context of that part of the dream... Finals again?
And finally, changing at the gym= yearning for greater self expression. Maybe related to everything that gets in the way of me working on TRTP. Or trying too hard in English class.
Recurring themes: Finals. TRTP. Trying too hard in English class.
What do these stressors have to do with urban decay as the title of this post indicates?
Well, I have this huge thing for urban decay (as in dead cities, not the makeup brand, although I am also a HUGE fan of Urban Decay makeup). Destroyed cities and abandoned places are a pretty obvious theme in TRTP, what with all the alleys and abandoned subway stations and the burning gangfights in the Downside. I was stuck on a scene today--I'd begun to run out of things you'd find in dead cities. I'd used overturned cars, mangled bicycles, burning stuff, etc. Usually when I'm stuck, I google terms or look them up on DeviantArt to get my brain rolling--so, that's what I did.
I found these two AWESOME collections of images. The first is 100 Captivating Examples of Urban Decay Photography. There's also The Beauty of Urban Decay.
Aren't they so pretty? A picture can't take my breath away. But the ruins of a once-beautiful city can. And that's what all these pictures are. If you've read Ch24 of TRTP, you'll find a lot of these images familiar--that is, if I've managed to capture their essence in written language. But, I'm serious. I had chills looking at some of those photographs. They were so pretty!
I also realize that I work really well when I'm listening to ballads (usually sung by the Glee cast). Tomorrow I need to share my playlist for TRTP.
Btw, sometimes it's good to just take it easy.
I'm really. Really. Really. Really burned out. I can't work anymore. Life tends to get this way towards the end of the semester. I keep finding myself sitting around just staring at the same line over and over on a textbook and absorbing nothing. It sucks, and it's also the source of many panic attacks and freaking out. I'm getting better at dealing with it though. I had a Biology exam today and couldn't get any studying in last night.
I didn't let myself freak out.
I went to sleep instead and set my alarm to 6:23 and 6:39 as always. And as of every day every week since after Thanksgiving break, I missed both alarms--something else that tends to happen towards the end of semester. No human can survive on 4 hours of sleep for that long...
Instead, I got up at 7:08. I took out my contacts, made a mozarella+spinach+bacon sandwich with my favorite 12 grain bread, and sat down at my laptop. I studied from 7:08 to 7:40 when I had to leave for my first class (I wasn't late today for the first time since after Thanksgiving when I started oversleeping!)
And then I studied discreetly during my first class when nobody was looking.
And then I studied at lunch for 20 minutes.
I walked into my exam without very high expectations.
I scored a 100%.
:)
Sometimes, you just need to relax. I mean, I've been paying attention in class, doing all the assignments... "Striving for excellence is great! Striving for perfection will only make your life miserable." My history teacher told me that sophomore year.
I'll top it off with a Christmas LOLcat.
:). TGIF.
...P.S. My ten minute post turned into a 40 minute post. How did that even HAPPEN???
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Manifestation of Stress
Music: (I've Had) The Time of My Life by Glee Cast/Dirty Dancing
Mood: Elated *Insert smiling fox*
Location: Desk (That's in the Awesome Possum Bedroom)
I have successfully imported all my posts from LJ to Blogger. I didn't think it was possible. A big thank you to Livejournal2Blogger. They really rock. I'm not really new to Blogger because I used to have a blog here. I kind of miss the icon-driven-ness of LJ, but then again, I missed my widgets and my custom templates and my followers box more ;).
On to my day...
I never knew you were supposed to tip the newspaper boy. He's been leaving cards on my doorstep. I think he's left 3 by now... I didn't get it until today (I'm relatively new to this newspaper delivery business). I had to google "newspaper carrier christmas card" to figure all this out. Well, I stuffed $15 in the envelope he left, added a pretty thank you card, and drew a huge smiley face on the front of the envelope. Hope that makes up for it... I'm so ignorant ;).
As for that Scarlet Letter essay, I FINALLY finished it. I sacrificed lunch for my violin audition. And then I had an hour and 15 until my next class, during which I frantically wrote. Towards the end, it's REALLY CRAPPY quality and I totally screwed up my MLA citations. But at that point, I was so tired, I really didn't care.
I'm sad. :( I had an A+ in English. We'll see how all this goes...
On the bright side, I finally got my Borders gift card!!! I already know what I'm spending it on. Last Sacrifice by Richelle Mead. That series is amazing. So sad that it's coming to an end.
P.S. Don't you think the slide show at the top of this blog is so pretty? :)
Mood: Elated *Insert smiling fox*
Location: Desk (That's in the Awesome Possum Bedroom)
I have successfully imported all my posts from LJ to Blogger. I didn't think it was possible. A big thank you to Livejournal2Blogger. They really rock. I'm not really new to Blogger because I used to have a blog here. I kind of miss the icon-driven-ness of LJ, but then again, I missed my widgets and my custom templates and my followers box more ;).
On to my day...
I never knew you were supposed to tip the newspaper boy. He's been leaving cards on my doorstep. I think he's left 3 by now... I didn't get it until today (I'm relatively new to this newspaper delivery business). I had to google "newspaper carrier christmas card" to figure all this out. Well, I stuffed $15 in the envelope he left, added a pretty thank you card, and drew a huge smiley face on the front of the envelope. Hope that makes up for it... I'm so ignorant ;).
As for that Scarlet Letter essay, I FINALLY finished it. I sacrificed lunch for my violin audition. And then I had an hour and 15 until my next class, during which I frantically wrote. Towards the end, it's REALLY CRAPPY quality and I totally screwed up my MLA citations. But at that point, I was so tired, I really didn't care.
I'm sad. :( I had an A+ in English. We'll see how all this goes...
On the bright side, I finally got my Borders gift card!!! I already know what I'm spending it on. Last Sacrifice by Richelle Mead. That series is amazing. So sad that it's coming to an end.
P.S. Don't you think the slide show at the top of this blog is so pretty? :)
Crazy Dreams
So I learn from the ad at the top of my LJ that the University of Farmers is releasing a series of what looks like...HORROR films? Wow. No comments there.
On the other hand, today, my friend and I were having a discussion about dreams (I was telling her about my dream dictionary fiasco Sunday night. See previous post). And crazy dreams. The other day (Thanksgiving Day to be precise), I was sitting outside Starbucks when I overheard this guy talking to his girlfriend. He was a pressure point specialist or something, because he was telling her that if you put a patch or acupuncture needle in the middle of your forehead where your third eye is, you'll have crazy dreams every night. Apparently, some people in Europe wear a patch there every night just to have crazy dreams. It's crazy, right?
My friend and I deduced one thing: we don't need patches to have crazy dreams. Stress and not enough sleep give you that. I'm not sure if it's just us, but I--for one--ENJOY having crazy dreams. I've been having a lot lately considering how finals are next week and we're getting to the end of semester. I have issues remembering some of them, especially since half the time I wake up, the same thing happens. This happens:
1. What happened to the hot assassin stalking me?
2. Why am I in a room with open binders all over the floor?
3. I glance at alarm clock.
4. It's ringing, and I've missed both alarms, the first one at 6:23 and the second one at 6:39.
5. In fact, it's 7:49 and I have 11 minutes to get to class.
6. Oh shit.
Yeah. That happened to me today. Remember that Scarlet Letter (not Scarlett) essay I was telling you about? I still haven't finished it.
I'm just so burned out. Yesterday I was just standing outside the bathroom staring at the wall when my friend tapped me on the shoulder and was like "Uh...you've been standing here staring at that wall for like...10 minutes."
I didn't even notice.
That's how tired I am. I haven't even started studying for finals yet. (Nobody has. We're all so dead.)
On the other hand, I just got 2 detentions for being late to my 1st class 4 times in a row. (You get 1 detention for the 1st three and then 1 attention for every late after that) I'm doing mine today and Friday.)
On the other hand, today, my friend and I were having a discussion about dreams (I was telling her about my dream dictionary fiasco Sunday night. See previous post). And crazy dreams. The other day (Thanksgiving Day to be precise), I was sitting outside Starbucks when I overheard this guy talking to his girlfriend. He was a pressure point specialist or something, because he was telling her that if you put a patch or acupuncture needle in the middle of your forehead where your third eye is, you'll have crazy dreams every night. Apparently, some people in Europe wear a patch there every night just to have crazy dreams. It's crazy, right?
My friend and I deduced one thing: we don't need patches to have crazy dreams. Stress and not enough sleep give you that. I'm not sure if it's just us, but I--for one--ENJOY having crazy dreams. I've been having a lot lately considering how finals are next week and we're getting to the end of semester. I have issues remembering some of them, especially since half the time I wake up, the same thing happens. This happens:
1. What happened to the hot assassin stalking me?
2. Why am I in a room with open binders all over the floor?
3. I glance at alarm clock.
4. It's ringing, and I've missed both alarms, the first one at 6:23 and the second one at 6:39.
5. In fact, it's 7:49 and I have 11 minutes to get to class.
6. Oh shit.
Yeah. That happened to me today. Remember that Scarlet Letter (not Scarlett) essay I was telling you about? I still haven't finished it.
I'm just so burned out. Yesterday I was just standing outside the bathroom staring at the wall when my friend tapped me on the shoulder and was like "Uh...you've been standing here staring at that wall for like...10 minutes."
I didn't even notice.
That's how tired I am. I haven't even started studying for finals yet. (Nobody has. We're all so dead.)
On the other hand, I just got 2 detentions for being late to my 1st class 4 times in a row. (You get 1 detention for the 1st three and then 1 attention for every late after that) I'm doing mine today and Friday.)
But you know what? Rather than stress out about it, I checked out The Replacement by Brenna Yovanoff from the library and I'm gonna see how far I can plow through it in 45 minutes. (Btw concerning the word "plow," British people spell it "plough" while Americans use "plow." I use both interchangeably. Juts an interesting piece of info) Yeah, I've been dying to read The Replacement. The librarian told me how ecstatic she was about it when I checked it out, although she didn't have time to read it yet.
When I discovered they had this at school last night (and to think I used to call school library catalogs stupid), I did a little happy dance. I mean, that's $16.99 I just saved from buying from Borders, man!!! Every Borders Gift Card is sacred. I also see that whoever borrowed Suzanne Collins' Catching Fire has FINALLY RETURNED IT. Now I just have to find it in the library. It's not next to The Hunger Games in the "C" shelf. I'll need the librarian's help on this one... If I can find it, and if someone returns one of the 2 Mockingjay's, then that'll be about $34 more saved.
And did I mention that yesterday morning, someone kicked over the starbucks delivered by my cheer team? They put it on my chair, and a guy (on accident and I 100% forgive him) knocked it over. It was a green tea latte. Quite interesting to see such a puddle of opaque lime green on the floor. Took the efforts of 5 people to clean up. Don't think I'll be ordering that flavor anytime soon.
Now, don't you wish that:
Maybe I'll try this job out in detention if I get tired.
Either way, I need a break from staying up till 2 a.m. studying.
And now, time to cross 2 streets to detention in Room 6. And I have no idea where it is. Or whose room it is.
BUT...I get to read The Replacement!!! :) See? Everything can be positive if you make it that way. I'm proud I didn't let myself get let down this time ;). I'm getting there.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Rainy Day
So, some interesting things from today:
1. If you dream about asparagus, something unpleasant will happen. (http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=asparagus)
2. They sell purple Christmas trees at Borders. They were also 30% off. I wonder why...
2.5 Met a really cool staff worker at Borders. She introduced me to a book that made it to my TBR list.
3. Our neighbors have started smoking again, and the smoke filters through my balcony window and kills me.
4. I have a To Be Read list ready!!! Can't wait to go out to Borders and buy all that stuff once I amass enough gift cards from Secret Santas and such.
5. Halfway through Clockwork Angel by Cassandre Clare, and I'm LOVING IT!!! It took a few chapters for the action to really start rolling, but once it did, I can't put that book down!
6. The hazelnut praline crunch topping from Pinkberry is DEATHLY GOOD, even if they charge you an extra 50 cents for it. So is the pumpkin froyo.
7. There's this little cafe in Santana Row with the BEST mini creme brulees ever.
8. This is about yesterday, but I attended Mom's Microsoft party in SF last night. Not as fun to be the only teenager dancing in a sea of adults.
9. Thanks to Glee, I'm now addicted to "The Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing. Sam and Quinn are the best. And Santana's hot despite her evilness.
Okay, so the story behind the story about the asparagus. :P I have an option from 5 promps for my essay on The Scarlet Letter. Since I didn't start this essay until 11 p.m. the night before it was due (which was approx. 57 minutes ago), I decided to go with the easiest topic, which was to pick a word that started with "A" that we thought the literal scarlet letter stood for. I googled "cool words that start with a" and ended up at a dream dictionary with REALLY COOL WORDS such as abalone, acne, abortion, and the abominable snowman. I also ready about pin cushions and platypi (platypuses?).
Okay. I really need to stop so i can get back to work. :P
Before that, quick update on TRTP. I didn't win NaNo :( I deleted too much stuff along the way and school ante-Finals is like HELL. I ended at a sad net count of somewhere around 25,000 words? Halfway. Eek. I also, right after that, scrapped 23 pages and rewrote them. I'm 2 pages away from finishing those re-written 23 pages now. Let's just say that recently, my google searches have included items such as "mangled bicycle, burning christmas tree, dead tree, burning city, destroyed city, destroyed city with tiger, broken telephone pole, overturned jeep." You get my gist. And I must've watched the music video for "Run This Town" three times (I know, that's barely anything--but usually I only listen to music in the background while I write. I never scrutinize every detail such as exactly how the backup dancers clap their tin crowbars together)
I'm happy with what I got done though!
And now I have to finish my TSL essay. So far I have 13 words, aka an MLA header and the title which says "To Be Announced."
XPPPPP It's just kind of impossible to write an English essay after I wrote/extensively edited 10 pages of TRTP yesterday and Friday.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Acceptance
I think I'm on my way to doing it!
And you ask, "Doing what?"
And I reply: learning to love myself for who I am and not focusing on the thin/fat/pretty/ugly and instead on how smart, witty, funny, and what a great writer (:P) I am. And how I work hard and I'm a fighter. I mean, I don't make friends with other people because of what they look like.
Tonight, I ate when I was hungry. And I ate what I wanted. And it was all healthy food because when I'm NOT starving myself, I don't crave junk food. And I feel great about myself. :)
And now let's get a chapter of history done so I can write.
And you ask, "Doing what?"
And I reply: learning to love myself for who I am and not focusing on the thin/fat/pretty/ugly and instead on how smart, witty, funny, and what a great writer (:P) I am. And how I work hard and I'm a fighter. I mean, I don't make friends with other people because of what they look like.
Tonight, I ate when I was hungry. And I ate what I wanted. And it was all healthy food because when I'm NOT starving myself, I don't crave junk food. And I feel great about myself. :)
And now let's get a chapter of history done so I can write.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
NaNo Day 7
Thank you to the stranger at the gym who came up to me today and told me he thought I looked great. He'd noticed me when I first started showing up 1.5 years ago--a feeble, skinny teenager who didn't even know how to lift a dumbell. And he told me that now, I looked strong and healthy and I was doing great and I should keep it up.
It made me smile. :)
You have no idea how thankful I am to all the strangers out there I've met or not met who have or will change my life. Here I was fumbling with the way my stomach looked in the mirror when a buff guy with tattoos came up and lifted the burden off my shoulders just a bit. It really meant something to me. I don't know what I would do without people like that in the world. They teach me more than textbooks and tests and Wikipedia.
As for NaNo, I finally fell behind the SUGGESTED word count, which is actually 5 pages ahead of my PERSONAL word count. (I was intending to write 90 pages in the first 3 weeks and then 100 in the last week when I had school off) So I'm aroud 8089 words right now. Hopefully I can bring it to 9000 tonight!!!
More updates to come. I think I'm gonna take a nap now. (Oooohhhhh-->if you looked at my mood, you probably noticed I was feeling "chipper" today. I didn't know what it meant until 2 seconds ago when I went on Urban Dictionary. "Happy or chirpy." That's EXACTLY what I was feeling. Here's to another word that means what it sounds like it means."
I'm also pretty sleepy. I just tried out for Fashion Show. Was one of 2 juniors who showed up. O.O Walked down the runway in high heels I never broke in. But I didn't think it went THAT bad. Okay,
4:30-5:30 SLEEP
6-7:30 DINNER
7:30-9:00 HOMEWORK
9:00-11:30 NANOWRIMO. ;))
It made me smile. :)
You have no idea how thankful I am to all the strangers out there I've met or not met who have or will change my life. Here I was fumbling with the way my stomach looked in the mirror when a buff guy with tattoos came up and lifted the burden off my shoulders just a bit. It really meant something to me. I don't know what I would do without people like that in the world. They teach me more than textbooks and tests and Wikipedia.
As for NaNo, I finally fell behind the SUGGESTED word count, which is actually 5 pages ahead of my PERSONAL word count. (I was intending to write 90 pages in the first 3 weeks and then 100 in the last week when I had school off) So I'm aroud 8089 words right now. Hopefully I can bring it to 9000 tonight!!!
More updates to come. I think I'm gonna take a nap now. (Oooohhhhh-->if you looked at my mood, you probably noticed I was feeling "chipper" today. I didn't know what it meant until 2 seconds ago when I went on Urban Dictionary. "Happy or chirpy." That's EXACTLY what I was feeling. Here's to another word that means what it sounds like it means."
I'm also pretty sleepy. I just tried out for Fashion Show. Was one of 2 juniors who showed up. O.O Walked down the runway in high heels I never broke in. But I didn't think it went THAT bad. Okay,
4:30-5:30 SLEEP
6-7:30 DINNER
7:30-9:00 HOMEWORK
9:00-11:30 NANOWRIMO. ;))
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