Best Detentions Ever

Location: Desk (That's in the Awesome Possum Bedroom)
Music: "Only Girl in the World" by Rihanna
Mood: Bouncy *smiley fox*

I thought I'd share this website. Best (or worst, arguably) detentions ever. This actually came up because of a paragraph in TRTP where I was describing a ridiculous detention. I ended up settling for wearing a t-shirt that said "Leave me alone."

:)

Which of course, made me think of MY best detention. I think it was one day when I was late for school because it was raining outside, and I walked to school without an umbrella. Not even nearly as epic as the ones on the Huffington Post.

So... dreams for yesterday night. I dreamed of rocky road ice cream. And then buying strawberry mochi because the ice cream container didn't contain enough for the party I was throwing for JCL.

Again, this is stress related. Originally, the other JCL officers and I divided the food up into two categories: ice cream and stuff you pile ice cream on (e.g. brownies, pizookies, you get the point). I was busy with work, so I asked my grandma (who was visiting) to buy some ice cream for me. She said okay.

She ended up buying cinnamon rolls.

Thus in my nightmare, only one other officer showed up with a tiny carton of ice cream. I went "ACH. How are 20 people gonna eat that???" So, in the nightmare I went to Ranch 99 and bought strawberry mochi.

The dream dictionary says:

"To see or eat ice cream in your dream, denotes good luck, pleasure, success in love and satisfaction with your life. You need to savor the moment and enjoy it. Alternatively, the dream may suggest that you need to cool off and not let your temper get out of hand. On the other hand, the ice cream may be a pun on "I scream". Perhaps there is something that you need to let out."

Cool. Supposing the first part holds true, I'm waiting for this "success in love" and "satisfaction with your life" to show up. :P I guess it did, because I got to work on TRTP today while blasting music on a YIM window with Mich and discussing the meaning of life. Best way to spend my night.

As for the "I scream" interpretation, there are many things I want to scream about. For example, "EVERYONE IS MORE THAN A NUMBER"--on a test, on a scale, whatever. Worth is not determined by numbers.

My new favorite song is "Papa Can You Hear Me?" by N-Dubz. It's my sound track whenever I'm having a bad day, which I did today. And that's totally wierd, because we screamed and played freeze tag and acted like kindergarteners in Biology today. And that's awesome.

^ Isn't that the most AWESOME building ever? It actually exists. In New Orleans off the Mississippi River. Urban decay for the win. This photo was taken by Briantmurphy.

Btw, did I mention that once, I accidentally said the Mississippi River was in New York (and meant it on accident)? TO a history teacher? In front of 32 people? And not my history teacher--he was subbing. Very embarassing.

One more funny moment--a few weeks back at the mall, I was eating in the food court. This little kid was sitting next to me with his parents. Every time his parents weren't looking, he would reach over with his fork and steal my food. Like, he would just poke his fork into my southwest chicken pasta salad and eat it. And it happened like 10 times. I had no idea what to do, so I just sat there. Very awkward.

Okay, it's 3:45 a.m. and I need to be at the gym by 7:50 tomorrow morning. Good night!

P.S. I considered making a label called "funny," but I think all my posts contain something funny. (I try, anyways). Just in case you care about the deep thought process behind my labels.

Urban Decay

Location: Desk (That's in the Awesome Possum Bedroom)
Music: "Don't Cry for me Argentina" by Glee Cast
Mood: Chipper *grinning fox*

All right. Ten minute post because it's almost 1 a.m. and I have to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning to study.

I checked out Catching Fire and Mockingjay by Susanne Collins in one shot today. From the library, thus saving $33.98 that I can otherwise spend on even more books! I also happened to shoot a plastic discus halfway across the library and succeed in getting it stuck behind a bookshelf. (Oops) I didn't know it'd fly so far! And so fast! I'll ask the librarian to help me get it out tomorrow when she comes back. (In case you are wondering what I was doing with a plastic discus, it was a Christmas gift from someone.)

The night before yesterday night I had a REALLY NERDY dream involving calculus and biology, so I ignored it and pretended it never happened. My dream mind keeps screaming Finals! Finals! Finals! at me, so today I dreamed of...

An iguana.

And some other stuff, that I saved in a OneNote doc on my new Windows 7 phone. And they are...eyes. And a shirt (rather, taking off a shirt. NOT INAPPROPRIATELY. I was in the locker room at my gym before showering.) I guess I'll censor this post anyways. Moving on--

The dream dictionary has to say:

"To see an iguana in your dream, represents harshness, cold-heartedness or fierceness. You approach situations or problems with both hostility and unstoppable determination. The iguana may also remind you of someone or some situation in your waking life that you find frightening yet awe inspiring."

"To see your own eyes in your dream, represent enlightenment, knowledge, comprehension, understanding, and intellectual awareness. Unconscious thoughts may be coming onto the surface. The left eye is symbolic of the moon, while the right eye represents the sun. It may also be a pun on "I" or the self."

(Too bad I don't remember the context of the eye dream...my note simply said "eye")

"To dream that you are stripping, indicates repression of your personal and physical desires. You are yearning for greater self-expression [...] Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on being "stripped" of something that you valued or cherished."

So, iguana= unstoppable determination/fierceness/coldness. Finals maybe? Or my determination to finish TRTP. Or the fact that I'm trying too hard in my English class.

Eyes= enlightement/knowledge. I really wish I remember the context of that part of the dream... Finals again?

And finally, changing at the gym= yearning for greater self expression. Maybe related to everything that gets in the way of me working on TRTP. Or trying too hard in English class.

Recurring themes: Finals. TRTP. Trying too hard in English class.

What do these stressors have to do with urban decay as the title of this post indicates?

Well, I have this huge thing for urban decay (as in dead cities, not the makeup brand, although I am also a HUGE fan of Urban Decay makeup). Destroyed cities and abandoned places are a pretty obvious theme in TRTP, what with all the alleys and abandoned subway stations and the burning gangfights in the Downside. I was stuck on a scene today--I'd begun to run out of things you'd find in dead cities. I'd used overturned cars, mangled bicycles, burning stuff, etc. Usually when I'm stuck, I google terms or look them up on DeviantArt to get my brain rolling--so, that's what I did.

I found these two AWESOME collections of images. The first is 100 Captivating Examples of Urban Decay Photography. There's also The Beauty of Urban Decay.

Aren't they so pretty? A picture can't take my breath away. But the ruins of a once-beautiful city can. And that's what all these pictures are. If you've read Ch24 of TRTP, you'll find a lot of these images familiar--that is, if I've managed to capture their essence in written language. But, I'm serious. I had chills looking at some of those photographs. They were so pretty!

I also realize that I work really well when I'm listening to ballads (usually sung by the Glee cast). Tomorrow I need to share my playlist for TRTP.

Btw, sometimes it's good to just take it easy.

I'm really. Really. Really. Really burned out. I can't work anymore. Life tends to get this way towards the end of the semester. I keep finding myself sitting around just staring at the same line over and over on a textbook and absorbing nothing. It sucks, and it's also the source of many panic attacks and freaking out. I'm getting better at dealing with it though. I had a Biology exam today and couldn't get any studying in last night.

I didn't let myself freak out.

I went to sleep instead and set my alarm to 6:23 and 6:39 as always. And as of every day every week since after Thanksgiving break, I missed both alarms--something else that tends to happen towards the end of semester. No human can survive on 4 hours of sleep for that long...

Instead, I got up at 7:08. I took out my contacts, made a mozarella+spinach+bacon sandwich with my favorite 12 grain bread, and sat down at my laptop. I studied from 7:08 to 7:40 when I had to leave for my first class (I wasn't late today for the first time since after Thanksgiving when I started oversleeping!)

And then I studied discreetly during my first class when nobody was looking.

And then I studied at lunch for 20 minutes.

I walked into my exam without very high expectations.

I scored a 100%.

:)

Sometimes, you just need to relax. I mean, I've been paying attention in class, doing all the assignments... "Striving for excellence is great! Striving for perfection will only make your life miserable." My history teacher told me that sophomore year.

I'll top it off with a Christmas LOLcat.

:). TGIF.

...P.S. My ten minute post turned into a 40 minute post. How did that even HAPPEN???

By Myself

I'd say that 3/4 of my friends are on crash diets right now. Sitting with them at lunch hurts. This is something that sucks about being an eating disorder survivor.

On the bright side, boys continue to look at me. And smile at me :) They didn't do that when I had an eating disorder.

More than that, my real friends (namely Michelle) are my friends because of my personality. If I weighed 300 pounds, she would still be my friend.

I'm reading Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver right now, and it's the best book I've picked up all year. (Yeah, I'm reading again. For 30 minutes a day no matter how late I have to stay up. Reading is the best way to learn about writing--although my writing class is freaking awesome as well) It's about discovering what's TRULY important.

And right now I'm thinking back to a fight I had with my grandma last night and how I shouldn't have said some of the things I said. Yeah, I needed a reality check. And I got one!

I'm also dreaming about Jamba Juice's new pumpkin smash smoothie. I'm not going to mention the calorie content, even though that was the first thing I searched after the first divine sip. ARGH. Some habits are just so hard to break.

But I'm fighting! And I'll keep fighting! Until I'm healed. Watch me do it.

Okay, TSL. Bring it. I'll probably just read 20 pages and then work on Downside.