Urban Decay

Location: Desk (That's in the Awesome Possum Bedroom)
Music: "Don't Cry for me Argentina" by Glee Cast
Mood: Chipper *grinning fox*

All right. Ten minute post because it's almost 1 a.m. and I have to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning to study.

I checked out Catching Fire and Mockingjay by Susanne Collins in one shot today. From the library, thus saving $33.98 that I can otherwise spend on even more books! I also happened to shoot a plastic discus halfway across the library and succeed in getting it stuck behind a bookshelf. (Oops) I didn't know it'd fly so far! And so fast! I'll ask the librarian to help me get it out tomorrow when she comes back. (In case you are wondering what I was doing with a plastic discus, it was a Christmas gift from someone.)

The night before yesterday night I had a REALLY NERDY dream involving calculus and biology, so I ignored it and pretended it never happened. My dream mind keeps screaming Finals! Finals! Finals! at me, so today I dreamed of...

An iguana.

And some other stuff, that I saved in a OneNote doc on my new Windows 7 phone. And they are...eyes. And a shirt (rather, taking off a shirt. NOT INAPPROPRIATELY. I was in the locker room at my gym before showering.) I guess I'll censor this post anyways. Moving on--

The dream dictionary has to say:

"To see an iguana in your dream, represents harshness, cold-heartedness or fierceness. You approach situations or problems with both hostility and unstoppable determination. The iguana may also remind you of someone or some situation in your waking life that you find frightening yet awe inspiring."

"To see your own eyes in your dream, represent enlightenment, knowledge, comprehension, understanding, and intellectual awareness. Unconscious thoughts may be coming onto the surface. The left eye is symbolic of the moon, while the right eye represents the sun. It may also be a pun on "I" or the self."

(Too bad I don't remember the context of the eye dream...my note simply said "eye")

"To dream that you are stripping, indicates repression of your personal and physical desires. You are yearning for greater self-expression [...] Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on being "stripped" of something that you valued or cherished."

So, iguana= unstoppable determination/fierceness/coldness. Finals maybe? Or my determination to finish TRTP. Or the fact that I'm trying too hard in my English class.

Eyes= enlightement/knowledge. I really wish I remember the context of that part of the dream... Finals again?

And finally, changing at the gym= yearning for greater self expression. Maybe related to everything that gets in the way of me working on TRTP. Or trying too hard in English class.

Recurring themes: Finals. TRTP. Trying too hard in English class.

What do these stressors have to do with urban decay as the title of this post indicates?

Well, I have this huge thing for urban decay (as in dead cities, not the makeup brand, although I am also a HUGE fan of Urban Decay makeup). Destroyed cities and abandoned places are a pretty obvious theme in TRTP, what with all the alleys and abandoned subway stations and the burning gangfights in the Downside. I was stuck on a scene today--I'd begun to run out of things you'd find in dead cities. I'd used overturned cars, mangled bicycles, burning stuff, etc. Usually when I'm stuck, I google terms or look them up on DeviantArt to get my brain rolling--so, that's what I did.

I found these two AWESOME collections of images. The first is 100 Captivating Examples of Urban Decay Photography. There's also The Beauty of Urban Decay.

Aren't they so pretty? A picture can't take my breath away. But the ruins of a once-beautiful city can. And that's what all these pictures are. If you've read Ch24 of TRTP, you'll find a lot of these images familiar--that is, if I've managed to capture their essence in written language. But, I'm serious. I had chills looking at some of those photographs. They were so pretty!

I also realize that I work really well when I'm listening to ballads (usually sung by the Glee cast). Tomorrow I need to share my playlist for TRTP.

Btw, sometimes it's good to just take it easy.

I'm really. Really. Really. Really burned out. I can't work anymore. Life tends to get this way towards the end of the semester. I keep finding myself sitting around just staring at the same line over and over on a textbook and absorbing nothing. It sucks, and it's also the source of many panic attacks and freaking out. I'm getting better at dealing with it though. I had a Biology exam today and couldn't get any studying in last night.

I didn't let myself freak out.

I went to sleep instead and set my alarm to 6:23 and 6:39 as always. And as of every day every week since after Thanksgiving break, I missed both alarms--something else that tends to happen towards the end of semester. No human can survive on 4 hours of sleep for that long...

Instead, I got up at 7:08. I took out my contacts, made a mozarella+spinach+bacon sandwich with my favorite 12 grain bread, and sat down at my laptop. I studied from 7:08 to 7:40 when I had to leave for my first class (I wasn't late today for the first time since after Thanksgiving when I started oversleeping!)

And then I studied discreetly during my first class when nobody was looking.

And then I studied at lunch for 20 minutes.

I walked into my exam without very high expectations.

I scored a 100%.

:)

Sometimes, you just need to relax. I mean, I've been paying attention in class, doing all the assignments... "Striving for excellence is great! Striving for perfection will only make your life miserable." My history teacher told me that sophomore year.

I'll top it off with a Christmas LOLcat.

:). TGIF.

...P.S. My ten minute post turned into a 40 minute post. How did that even HAPPEN???

Crazy Dreams

So I learn from the ad at the top of my LJ that the University of Farmers is releasing a series of what looks like...HORROR films? Wow. No comments there.

On the other hand, today, my friend and I were having a discussion about dreams (I was telling her about my dream dictionary fiasco Sunday night. See previous post). And crazy dreams. The other day (Thanksgiving Day to be precise), I was sitting outside Starbucks when I overheard this guy talking to his girlfriend. He was a pressure point specialist or something, because he was telling her that if you put a patch or acupuncture needle in the middle of your forehead where your third eye is, you'll have crazy dreams every night. Apparently, some people in Europe wear a patch there every night just to have crazy dreams. It's crazy, right?

My friend and I deduced one thing: we don't need patches to have crazy dreams. Stress and not enough sleep give you that. I'm not sure if it's just us, but I--for one--ENJOY having crazy dreams. I've been having a lot lately considering how finals are next week and we're getting to the end of semester. I have issues remembering some of them, especially since half the time I wake up, the same thing happens. This happens:

1. What happened to the hot assassin stalking me?
2. Why am I in a room with open binders all over the floor?
3. I glance at alarm clock.
4. It's ringing, and I've missed both alarms, the first one at 6:23 and the second one at 6:39.
5. In fact, it's 7:49 and I have 11 minutes to get to class.
6. Oh shit.

Yeah. That happened to me today. Remember that Scarlet Letter (not Scarlett) essay I was telling you about? I still haven't finished it.

I'm just so burned out. Yesterday I was just standing outside the bathroom staring at the wall when my friend tapped me on the shoulder and was like "Uh...you've been standing here staring at that wall for like...10 minutes."

I didn't even notice.

That's how tired I am. I haven't even started studying for finals yet. (Nobody has. We're all so dead.)

On the other hand, I just got 2 detentions for being late to my 1st class 4 times in a row. (You get 1 detention for the 1st three and then 1 attention for every late after that) I'm doing mine today and Friday.)

But you know what? Rather than stress out about it, I checked out The Replacement by Brenna Yovanoff from the library and I'm gonna see how far I can plow through it in 45 minutes. (Btw concerning the word "plow," British people spell it "plough" while Americans use "plow." I use both interchangeably. Juts an interesting piece of info) Yeah, I've been dying to read The Replacement. The librarian told me how ecstatic she was about it when I checked it out, although she didn't have time to read it yet.

When I discovered they had this at school last night (and to think I used to call school library catalogs stupid), I did a little happy dance. I mean, that's $16.99 I just saved from buying from Borders, man!!! Every Borders Gift Card is sacred. I also see that whoever borrowed Suzanne Collins' Catching Fire has FINALLY RETURNED IT. Now I just have to find it in the library. It's not next to The Hunger Games in the "C" shelf. I'll need the librarian's help on this one... If I can find it, and if someone returns one of the 2 Mockingjay's, then that'll be about $34 more saved.

And did I mention that yesterday morning, someone kicked over the starbucks delivered by my cheer team? They put it on my chair, and a guy (on accident and I 100% forgive him) knocked it over. It was a green tea latte. Quite interesting to see such a puddle of opaque lime green on the floor. Took the efforts of 5 people to clean up. Don't think I'll be ordering that flavor anytime soon.

Now, don't you wish that:



Maybe I'll try this job out in detention if I get tired.

Either way, I need a break from staying up till 2 a.m. studying.

And now, time to cross 2 streets to detention in Room 6. And I have no idea where it is. Or whose room it is.

BUT...I get to read The Replacement!!! :) See? Everything can be positive if you make it that way. I'm proud I didn't let myself get let down this time ;). I'm getting there.

Almost NaNoWriMo!

Yay, I get to say that I started this blog on Halloween!

BOO.

I'm listening to Just Dance (Lady Gaga) right now, and it's bringing back so many memories from two summers ago. They're slightly painful, but they also make me smile. They make me think of running away to party with my best friend who I wasn't--and am still--not allowed to see. Two summers ago also happened to be when I got the raw idea for my current WIP. I still remember how nervous I was about starting because I thought the topic matter was too edgy. That was one of the reasons I eventually dropped the project.

:) Now, a year and a few months later, it's back, and it's rocking, baby.

Why is this relevant?

Because tomorrow the yearly writing marathon starts!

Even though the official rules say you have to start fresh, my goal is to add 50,000 words (that's 180 pages in my font and my spacing) to TRTP. It's going to be tricky with school, homework, cheer, and the 5 days a week that I spend at the gym, but I've got Thanksgiving break on my side!

I also made the hard decision to give in to my perfectionist personality this time and edit along the way. I know that I'll be frowned upon for saying that, but here's my theory:

If I want to edit, I'll stop and edit. If I want to keep writing, I will keep writing. If I feel like something's wrong with the plotline right now and I can't wait two months until I'm done with the story to fix it, I'll fix it right now.

The whole forget the inner editor during the first draft and come back to everything when you've finished the story doesn't work for me. I've tried about 40 times. And doing that, I only finished about 3 stories--and I only ever finished editing one of them.

I'm not advocating this is the best approach for everyone though. Everyone has what works for them. Although revision-and-going goes counter to almost all the advice I've ever gotten about writing, it's what works for me. So I'm sticking with it ;) I've never given in to that urge before, so let's see where this takes me. I'm also older and more mature than I was before, so that might also play into the whole process, but I'm not jumping to conclusions.

I also realized that my writing is at it's best while I'm constantly feeding myself books. My muse just doesn't work when I'm not constantly engaging in new worlds and new plots. Every time I read a new paragraph I've never seen before, I get this gush of adrenaline. It feels like heaven.

So what book did I pick up this time (with my awesome 40% Borders coupon that my mom found in her spam and forwarded to me? Speaking of which, I never have to print out coupons again! I found the coupon while I was eating lunch. When I made the trip to Borders a few stores down the lane, I just showed the clerk the coupon open on my IPhone and he was like "Cool." Hmm...that also means I can bring back the same coupon again and get another book 40% off...)

Back on track. The book is Crusade by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguie.

The reviews I read on Amazon weren't amazing, and I was debating between Crusade and Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare, which has been on my TBR list for even longer. Clockwork Angel definitely has better reviews, and it made the NYT Bestseller List, but for some reason at the moment, when I saw the book trailer for Crusade and read the blurb on the back, I was attracted to it more. My book attractions fluctuate more than my attractions to boys.

Books cost more than boys though. I can only afford a book once every month/two months.

I just loved the idea of vampire hunters training in Spain with burning churches and insecurites and then coming home to find "home" transformed, as well as the incredibly diverse team that the main character, Jenn, is a part of. It's an apocalyptic urban fantasy, which was the main thing that got me. And the book trailer was fabulous.

So I decided to do the whole Do-What-You-Feel-You-Need-To-Do thing. Intuitive reading ;). I bought Crusade. (See? It's a theme in my life now.) And I'm begging all my friends for Borders coupons for Christmas so I can get Clockwork Angel and everything else on my TBR list.

So, update on work count. 95 pages and



I'm hoping I can get 5 more pages done today. That way I can start on page 100 and end at page 290 at the end of NaNoWriMo.
Exciting!!! Then, I'll only have about 100 pages left to go in December, after which I'll be...done.