Busy-ness!

Semester is thankfully finally over.

But...

The next three months are going to be worse. Dear self, expect Hell.

But you know what?

I'm actually really excited!!! When you've got 10 things going on, if one of them fails, hey you've still got 9 more that can still succeed. :) And a lot of the stuff I'm doing this year isn't for myself alone, especially Sadies! I'm really hoping my masquerade idea gets passed (for security reasons).

As for TRTP, I jotted down rough page counts for the remaining scenes and ended up with 200 more pages. I'm at 240 pages right now. My reaction looked something like this: :O "Oh dear."

That puts the story at 108,000 words, which is 10,000 words over what I'd been hoping for. I guess it's too early to freak out about word count though.

Finishing is more important.

I've been cruising along at average 15 pages a week. If I quadruple that to 60 during the February break, then finish time can be sped up to March 28, which is STILL very late. But it's better than nothing. Maybe if I'm really lucky, I'll finish on my birthday--3/16.

We'll see. :)

Urban Decay

Location: Desk (That's in the Awesome Possum Bedroom)
Music: "Don't Cry for me Argentina" by Glee Cast
Mood: Chipper *grinning fox*

All right. Ten minute post because it's almost 1 a.m. and I have to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning to study.

I checked out Catching Fire and Mockingjay by Susanne Collins in one shot today. From the library, thus saving $33.98 that I can otherwise spend on even more books! I also happened to shoot a plastic discus halfway across the library and succeed in getting it stuck behind a bookshelf. (Oops) I didn't know it'd fly so far! And so fast! I'll ask the librarian to help me get it out tomorrow when she comes back. (In case you are wondering what I was doing with a plastic discus, it was a Christmas gift from someone.)

The night before yesterday night I had a REALLY NERDY dream involving calculus and biology, so I ignored it and pretended it never happened. My dream mind keeps screaming Finals! Finals! Finals! at me, so today I dreamed of...

An iguana.

And some other stuff, that I saved in a OneNote doc on my new Windows 7 phone. And they are...eyes. And a shirt (rather, taking off a shirt. NOT INAPPROPRIATELY. I was in the locker room at my gym before showering.) I guess I'll censor this post anyways. Moving on--

The dream dictionary has to say:

"To see an iguana in your dream, represents harshness, cold-heartedness or fierceness. You approach situations or problems with both hostility and unstoppable determination. The iguana may also remind you of someone or some situation in your waking life that you find frightening yet awe inspiring."

"To see your own eyes in your dream, represent enlightenment, knowledge, comprehension, understanding, and intellectual awareness. Unconscious thoughts may be coming onto the surface. The left eye is symbolic of the moon, while the right eye represents the sun. It may also be a pun on "I" or the self."

(Too bad I don't remember the context of the eye dream...my note simply said "eye")

"To dream that you are stripping, indicates repression of your personal and physical desires. You are yearning for greater self-expression [...] Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on being "stripped" of something that you valued or cherished."

So, iguana= unstoppable determination/fierceness/coldness. Finals maybe? Or my determination to finish TRTP. Or the fact that I'm trying too hard in my English class.

Eyes= enlightement/knowledge. I really wish I remember the context of that part of the dream... Finals again?

And finally, changing at the gym= yearning for greater self expression. Maybe related to everything that gets in the way of me working on TRTP. Or trying too hard in English class.

Recurring themes: Finals. TRTP. Trying too hard in English class.

What do these stressors have to do with urban decay as the title of this post indicates?

Well, I have this huge thing for urban decay (as in dead cities, not the makeup brand, although I am also a HUGE fan of Urban Decay makeup). Destroyed cities and abandoned places are a pretty obvious theme in TRTP, what with all the alleys and abandoned subway stations and the burning gangfights in the Downside. I was stuck on a scene today--I'd begun to run out of things you'd find in dead cities. I'd used overturned cars, mangled bicycles, burning stuff, etc. Usually when I'm stuck, I google terms or look them up on DeviantArt to get my brain rolling--so, that's what I did.

I found these two AWESOME collections of images. The first is 100 Captivating Examples of Urban Decay Photography. There's also The Beauty of Urban Decay.

Aren't they so pretty? A picture can't take my breath away. But the ruins of a once-beautiful city can. And that's what all these pictures are. If you've read Ch24 of TRTP, you'll find a lot of these images familiar--that is, if I've managed to capture their essence in written language. But, I'm serious. I had chills looking at some of those photographs. They were so pretty!

I also realize that I work really well when I'm listening to ballads (usually sung by the Glee cast). Tomorrow I need to share my playlist for TRTP.

Btw, sometimes it's good to just take it easy.

I'm really. Really. Really. Really burned out. I can't work anymore. Life tends to get this way towards the end of the semester. I keep finding myself sitting around just staring at the same line over and over on a textbook and absorbing nothing. It sucks, and it's also the source of many panic attacks and freaking out. I'm getting better at dealing with it though. I had a Biology exam today and couldn't get any studying in last night.

I didn't let myself freak out.

I went to sleep instead and set my alarm to 6:23 and 6:39 as always. And as of every day every week since after Thanksgiving break, I missed both alarms--something else that tends to happen towards the end of semester. No human can survive on 4 hours of sleep for that long...

Instead, I got up at 7:08. I took out my contacts, made a mozarella+spinach+bacon sandwich with my favorite 12 grain bread, and sat down at my laptop. I studied from 7:08 to 7:40 when I had to leave for my first class (I wasn't late today for the first time since after Thanksgiving when I started oversleeping!)

And then I studied discreetly during my first class when nobody was looking.

And then I studied at lunch for 20 minutes.

I walked into my exam without very high expectations.

I scored a 100%.

:)

Sometimes, you just need to relax. I mean, I've been paying attention in class, doing all the assignments... "Striving for excellence is great! Striving for perfection will only make your life miserable." My history teacher told me that sophomore year.

I'll top it off with a Christmas LOLcat.

:). TGIF.

...P.S. My ten minute post turned into a 40 minute post. How did that even HAPPEN???

Revelations

I am laughing hysterically right now.

Out of happiness.

I just outlined the remaining 3/4 of TRTP in an hour and a half...on a policy debate flow template from summer camp before my freshman year (See? I KNEW that flow would come in handy one day...even if I stopped taking debate. It had colored columns and a nice font and alternating red and black text between boxes that made it easier to read). There are 48 more plot points that happen before the final showdown (and I've left 60ish pages for the final showdown). The completed product will be something around 430 pages.

Unfortunately, this means I'm going to have to delete a large part of what I wrote and rearrange all of it.

...Guess that kind of screws up NaNoWriMo, huh? Well... that's too bad.

I'm still delirious about what I accomplished. Yesssssssssssssssssssssss!

I'm freaking nervous too. I'm staring at that outline and asking myself how EVER am I going to accomplish all that? I'm already behind... by a LOT. And yet, it's super exciting!!!